Tras, I love you...

finally back from Tras... after a week of undergraduate community service, i think those undergraduates learnt the most compare to those children in Tras. And my body is aching. Ahr~~~
Still remember that chee jien, me, n rebin "drive night car" and ordered McD in peggy's house without realizing that three of us were out of money the day before we depaturing from college hahahah but now we are back...
In Tras, villagers are so so so so so friendly. They invite you to have a meal in thier houses just after chitchatting with you for 3 mins. children in Tras are not afraid of strangers. they like us just like we really are their brothers or sisters.
Amazingly, undergraduates looked similar either with their adopted parents or adopted siblings. Yoon Wah really looked like her "mother", Finny's brother looked like her, Chiao Tong looked like her "grandmom", Denise's brother looked like her, my sister looked like me... hahaha... everyone had their similarities. Really miss them a lot.
Tras, we will be back soon. It takes us around 2 hours to go there onli mar... will go back often!!!

V I C T O R Y

Still have less than 4 hours to go for my computer battle... I don't know how i will become in the end of the battle, but I am sure that I will be "alive with injuries and bruises". Even though her power is so intense that able to kill us, I ain't afraid...

Good luck to all the warriors in Com war...

masuk campur

I don't want masuk campur...
Yea... I really mean it.

struggling for survival

Yesterday, went to watch sunshine with chee jien after finished biopsyc and stat tests. It was an touching movie but got a bit zadao when the monster who claimed that he was God emerged suddenly after three quarter of the movie.... =.=!!! It was about how astronauts struggling to survive when their spaceship encounter damaged and how they supported each other to complete the mission or attempting to minimize the death toll.

Now I am struggling to survive in my coming computer war by cracking my head and stuffing all the computer knowledge into my brain, but I am convinced that I will survive even though I lose in this battle. hahahaha... but "liu de qing san zai, bu pa mei cai shao" = the green mountain is left so do not afraid that there has no wood for burning...

C O M P A R E

"What is meaningful for you?" I asked Yan.

"For me, it is reaching my parents' expectation. That's all..." she answered.

Undeniably, there are lot of students whose goal is to reach their parents' expectation, want to prove themselves that they are "useful", better. Why? Because tradition parents like to compare their children with nephews or nieces or even within their own children.
"Look at your sister AND look at you. Why both of you have such a BIG difference?!"

My mother used to compare me with my cousin who is pretty and intelligent. Until one day, I gave my mom a piece of my mind - "Stop comparing, please... If you like her so much, then you take her as your daughter lar. I am willing to be exchanged. Or you can choose to abandon me, I don't mind..." OK. I know this is rude but I had stood it for almost 15 years. My mom didn't feel tired but my ears refused to suffer. I had to do it. If not, I think I would be the next Yan. After this, my mom, of course did not stop comparing. The only thing I fear of is I might follow my mom's step - comparing my children with others, just like a Chinese proverb - you qi mu bi you qi nu. I DUN WAN!!!!
I still remember that there was a soon-to-be graduator committed suicide before the day of his graduation. He wrote a will. The content was inviting his parents to attend the ceremony and received the cert. Because he studied law which his parents insisted. In contrast, he wanted to pursue a med degree. Maybe you think how stupid he was, "can continue study med after study law mar"... BUT, this is not the point. He just wanted to be respected, wanted to make a decision by himself for his own future.

For those who just want to prove him/herself to meet the expectations, I want to ask a question - when these expectations no longer exist, when your parents no longer beside you, when you are alone, what kind of person will you be? How are you going to live without expectation?

Yi ler and Di di

Finally, i saw Xiang Hui's baby...
OH MY GUSH... He is so cute!!!! The feeling was like hugging a koala bear. The eldest son is also very handsome even though he is 2 years old only.
Dont know when can I see them again? As my sis has moved back to KK, it is hard for me to see these two little cute brothers. The moment he rushed to the gate and shouted out, "Ah Yi, Bye!" It was so upset...

Yi Ler and Di Di,
Must listen to daddy and mommy... Must grow up healthily... (Love love)

5.04.07

1st
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY EXCEL OR POWER POINT WINDOWS! CLOSE IT AND YOU SHOULD START UPLOADING YOUR FILE NOW...." our computer lecturer demanded.
"WHAT THE @#^&$@#$!!!!!" These came out in my mind..
You think we are IT major students ar???? We, as ADP students, need to know information about computer more than basic but less than expert one lor.... Give us such expert questions and expect us to finish them in AN hour. Besides, don't offer us the face we are not supposed to face. YOU yourself make yourself in that tense situation, NOT US, ok? YOU make yourself panic, BUT, please don't influence us... We just want to finish our tasks, that's all. You as a lecturer should know that panic begets panic. When your students' attendance is decreasing, you should know that something is wrong with your teaching skills. But, you are blaming us!

After came out from the computer lab, i couldn't think much. What i can use to descirbe the feeling is riding roller coaster which was DAMN fast and standing on the edge the moment of bungee jumping...


2nd
You are totally stupid, EXTREMELY stupid... Please lar! You have lost your "real identity" lor if you continue to lead in your own drama. Everyone sees you as a clown. Because you keep acting and cheer them up... but the most important is they watch your drama free of charge one... The moment you dumped my sister, you think you can cover your sins by acting and accusing my sis ar??? Now, everyone is enjoying your shows... and of course they know the real reason of dumping my sis which you think that everyone doesn't know. You know is what reasons? Let me remind you because you are enthusiastic and drunk in your drama...

a. because you are materialistic and wanna become wealthy and you hunt an innocent and "thousand gold miss"... you "seduce"her... so she can help you to escalate your achievement.
BUT, i tell you lar since i am good enoguh to advice you - you have lost a bunch of genuine friends forever in your life... i ensure that the moment you grab all the things you want, you are just a shell... outside is crusted gold, but inside is nothing. You pushed my sis into the valley... and those freinds you have made the moment you dumped my sister are just onli artificial friends whom you cant share and reveal your true self.

b. you cannot do what you like. you have lost your freedom. what you do now is just wan to satisfy those expectation from others - become a christian that claimed yourself is SOOO spirituality but your aren't, if not you wont hurt my sis that badly. try to cheer up the girl you like but what you like is just the $$$. so i advice you to marry money so i no need give angpao on your wedding day since you are so generous that i know you aren't but you are just acting that you are generous. there is a chinese proverb which is "fang chang xian, diao da yu". YUP!!! Congratulations!!! you have gotten a big, fatty fish... HOWEVER, your rod is too weak and because your fish is too heavy, your rod is going to "patah". And you have no that strength to pull up the fish... SO, just let the rod and fish go lar...WON'T that be happier???

3rd
Sorry because I can't tell you the truth... Sorry, because of me, you are who you are today. Sorry because I know the truth and I choose not to tell you, I can anticipate your responses because I know you. Sorry because I don't want to hurt you but I am hurt when I can't do anything because of the situation. Sorry... the person is no longer the person you think of... the person has changed...

F U T U R E

Moi of the future

How will I become in the future? I am really curious about it.
I think there are three possibilities:

A) Become a tradition "huang nian po". Staying in the house and nurturing kids, waiting for lao-gong coming home from work, cooking for my family, then wait until kids and lao-gong sleep adi just go to bed (this is usually what "huang nian po" does, you can't deny it)

B) Become an OL. Working for 8 hours. Wasting for more than 2 hours by stucking in the traffic. When back home, "kakak" has cooked for the entire family. Then, spending less than 3 hours with kids and lao-gong. Then, go to bed after the whole working day. What a dull life! (But it will be different if I became a child psychologist.... ^^)

C) Become a full time volunteer in an impoverishment country. Spending my time with those kids who need love and cares. Helping those women from being abused or treated savagely...

A + B + C = my perfect life

I can't deny that I wish I won't neglect my husband after deliver and able to nurture my own kids without sending them to day care centre or "nai ma" and become a volunteer by contributing my knowledge into social work...

Maybe you are shocked and questinoning that - Are you going to far?
But, these are what I wish I can do in my future life (if i got married, hahahahaha)...